becoming

Is prayer a spiritual discipline - something you have to remind yourself to do? Is it just bringing your requests to God? What if it was more like breathing? More like having a cell phone always on you with a blue tooth earpiece poised to receive a call, AND ready for you to speak, too?

Paul taught in 1st Thessalonians that we should never stop praying. That has to mean more than talking. Maybe that means listening. A lot of listening. Ever listening and responding to God. A mystical, supernatural connection to the living God leading us and speaking into our daily.

If that’s the case, prayer is not something I stop to take time to do. It is something I never stop doing. I do it ALL the time.

are you ever listening?

I just got home from watching The Pursuit of Happyness, an adapted version of the real life of Chris Gardner. Very inspiring film, not to mention how cool it was to watch Will Smith co-star with his own son. I walked away with 2 scenes etched in my mind and two thoughts that I hope will be ever burned in my heart.

The first - I will never use a public restroom the same again. There’s this scene just after Chris Gardner and his son were evicted from the place they were staying in. They were forced to find a place to sleep for the night. Chris is obviously very down about the fact that his son will not have a warm, clean bed, and they end up sitting on a bench at the subway station with all of their belongings. Long story short, Chris realized the need to make the best of the situation for his son, so he pretended they had gone back in time and were cave men. Imaginatively, they looked around the prehistoric subway station and saw all kinds of Dinosaurs. A T-Rex roared and forced them to find their “cave� to rest in for safety. They escaped with their belongings into a one-person bathroom cave off to the side Mt. Subway Station and locked the door. Chris wept as he held his son in his lap. His son got a little bit of sleep there for the night. In the public restroom. On the floor.

I heard Chris Seay, a compassionate leader from Houston, TX, recently say that American church culture treats our culture kind of like the way we usually treat a public restroom. You know, I did it today at a restaurant. You enter using your feet to open the door. You pray that they have automatic flushing on the urinal. They do. You finish and…crap. They don’t have automatic paper towel dispensers. So, you pull the lever down 4 times to dispense the towel before you hold your hands under the automatic sinks. You hope the soap is antibacterial, wash and rinse, pull of the towel, and dry your hands off. Open the door back up with your damp paper towel as a magical germ barrier, and throw it away but hit short on the rim of the trash can. Somebody else will pick it up off the floor. Church culture tends to treat culture that way. So dirty that we want to use it but not touch it. So concerned about what we will catch from it that we exit as quickly and as disconnectedly as possible. I mean who knows who slept there the night before?

What are we doing? Are we really that concerned about our well-being? I’m not talking about the trip to the bathroom. I still and will continue to do that. But what about the people who exist in the daily and survive any way they can? What am I doing about them? Lord, help me to see people like you see them – valuable. Priceless. Worth dying for.

The 2^nd thought – I am going to quit being annoyed by the sign on the door at my son’s school that won’t allow us to enter in through the most convenient door nearest to his classroom. Instead, we have to walk all the way around this huge building to enter the door furthest away from his 2^nd floor classroom. You see, of the many times I have taken him to school this school year, only twice have I actually enjoyed the journey through the breezeway around the building holding my 5-year old’s hand.

In The Pursuit of Happyness, Chris and his son walk or take the bus most places. Depending upon their lateness and destination, Chris either soaks up the blessing of that journey through the eyes of his little young explorer, or he hushes and hurries him along pouring cold water on the fire that burns within his little boy. From time to time, though, his son tells knock-knock jokes or they imagine they’re on an adventure or they just are together, and they’re happy.

The 2 times I enjoyed the breezeway trek to the furthest away door were when Caleb and I made an adventure of it. There was no adventure, but we made it one. It existed because we existed as 2 adventurers living life with imagination and fervor rather than obligation and unnecessary speed. I think I will quit grumbling under my breath about the stupid sign that won’t let me enter the most convenient doorway to drop him off at school, and instead see every crack in the sidewalk as the cavern we must jump across and every noise as the mysterious sounds of the jungle on our trek to light up the treasured, #2 button after we discover the elevator that takes us to our paradise destination.

I think I will live like something else matters besides my schedule and my supposed responsibilities at work that any other person could accomplish who isn’t the father of my 5-year old.

Bottom line is this: what do you think about when you enter a public restroom, AND whose sign do you need to quit getting ticked off at? These are two of life’s most important questions. How will you answer them? Will you be happy anyway?

We were sitting in my truck together outside of the Florida Mall in Orlando 2 days before Christmas. Ammaw and Pop (Grandma and Grandpa) were inside grabbing a few gifts. We had just picked them up from the airport. For my 5 year old son and me, it’s in these times of just casually talking together that we have the most significant conversations. And so it happened that day.

We decided to pray together for a 3 year old boy suffering from Meningitis. He is related to a friend in our church family. Caleb prayed for him to feel better and for his parents not to be too sad. Our prayer sparked a conversation in which Caleb said 2 very profound things.

I asked him if he knew that the Bible says we are to never ever stop praying. He said he did not know that. I asked him if he thought that meant just talking to God. He said it must mean listening to God, too. I asked him did he listen to God. He said yes. I asked him how he heard God speak to him. Here’s what he said – “I just hear him, Daddy. I just hear him in my mind.�

That led to me telling Caleb how thankful I am for him and how much God uses him to make me better. I asked him if he knew that – that he made his Daddy a better Daddy and a better person. He said he did know that. Then he said – “I make you better by slowing you down.�

Caleb definitely does make me better by slowing me down, making me remember daily what really matters. Thank you Caleb.

Here’s to us all listening to God and loving one another and making each other better. AND, having more of a 5 year old outlook.

Happy New Year!

Well, as we wrap up presents and another awesome year, here are a few of the Dukes family highlights from 2006. Hope you enjoy! We are so very thankful to know a God who came near and who continually shows His love to us through family and friends!

CALEB had a big year of firsts!!! He started off the year with his 1st ever soccer league at the local YMCA. We all went together on our 1st ever cruise (a Disney one nonetheless thanks to some dear friends). He attended his 1st ever basketball camp. He had his 1st day of school (Pre-K). He got his 1st bike and learned how to ride it. He learned how to swim. This fall, he turned 5. He still loves trains and space shuttles. And, his favorite thing to say right now is, “I have a brilliant idea!� He continues to be our pride and joy.

This year, KATEY GRACE turned 2 and began to really show her personality as the sunshine of our family. All the talking she already did became understandable. We especially enjoyed her peaking out from the curtains in our room on the cruise and declaring “Surprise!!!� Every time a camera was around, she welcomed it with a big grin and a cheesy “cheeeeeeese.� The cutest of all is probably her invitation to play hide and seek. She looks at you with her stunning beauty and captivating blue eyes and asks, “One, tu, tree, po, pie?� Translation: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (will you count and come find me)?� She also has grown quite fond of Larry and Bob and all those wonderfully funny Veggie Tales. She makes the “twos� so terrific!!!

2006 also brought us a bundle of love named ABIGAIL, born November 4th. She showed her fashion and style, coming a week late but perfectly healthy. Caleb and Katey have fallen in love with her, and they both love to hold her on the couch. She definitely looks like her older brother. In fact, when Caleb prays, he says, “God, I love that you made Abby to look like me.� We all agree, as he says, “She is soooo sweet.� Katey has noticed the sweet baby she is and calls her “sweet girl� all the time. We are very blessed with our 3rd and can’t wait to get to know her more and more!

Jen and I are so thankful and so content with all the treasures God has given us. Most of all, for the grace given to us in Emmanuel. We are thankful for our marriage and our strengthening oneness. We are in awe of the gift He has given us in our 3 little ones. We are also very thankful for our family and friends. Almost daily, we pinch ourselves at the blessing we have to do life together with our loving church family. Jen walks very closely with so many of the ladies and young moms. She is so sharpened by each and every one of them. She still feels much like an RN as they call with questions about kids and pregnancy and more. SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVES IT and feels so valued in those friendships! As for me, I am so grateful for our leadership teams, the men’s group I’m in, and the many men and women I am learning from in the marketplace and beyond. You can read more about it all by going to www.westpointchurch.org and www.restorationconcept.com.

As you reflect on the year and maybe get out your old Christmas letter, I pray that you will know the God who came near more dearly and follow Him more closely.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

you may have recently seen a Liberty Mutual commercial with the branded marketing theme of “responsibility.” unreal commercial. you can check it out by clicking here to see the ad on the website of the firm that created it.

it made an impression not only because it is a solid commercial with a distinctive marketing focus, but also because i have been giving a lot of thought lately to the need for people to simply be responsible for one another - caring for one another and giving ourselves away. i am finding as i walk with people that many of us have not come to understand the values that we are and the value that we can speak into another person’s life.

that’s why what Jesus teaches makes so much sense to me. our culture speaks of love and respect that is earned. Jesus taught love and respect that is given. think about it - what are we saying about our value if we insist on earning love and respect. we are saying people are not valuable enough to be given love and respect from me. what does that say about my own value if i do that?

maybe we should reconsider. maybe the declaration of the cross was that i am worth dying for, and maybe i could express that same declaration in the way i responsibly care for the people i walk with in the daily and the ones i want to too often forget about that i never see.

thanks to Liberty Mutual for challenging us to be responsible. now, let’s do it.

was your biology and astronomy world crushed last week when that council of astronomers (who happen to live on a large rock 3rd from the sun with very limited scopes of ability to fully understand the overall makeup of our universe and our galaxy alone for that matter) decided that Pluto was not really a planet? mine was.

Pluto not a planet? what about all those school textbooks that must be trashed now due to misinformation? what about all those young astronomers who had hoped of catching a glimpse of Pluto through their Wal-Mart telescope, even though Venus was only a small, bouncy blur through the less-than-powerful scope of the latest “jason” model? what about all of those dads whose fat fingers struggled to pinhole that tiny fishing line through the small openings in the planetary, glow-in-the-dark mobiles that hang from the ceiling in their son’s bedroom? what about Mickey’s dog? Would Walt had really named him that? What a tragedy that he did not have the counsel of the council!

well, to many people, this is a small issue. i mean, Pluto itself is actually a small issue compared to the other planets. it’s just funny to me, and maybe even a little ironic, how big we think we are. big enough to comment on the status of a planet we’ve never visited, can hardly see, and never did anything to us in the 1st place. did we forget how little our space is on our own planet…the space you’re occupying right now as you read this. we’re little. small issues, even. who are we to comment so dogmatically about something we know so little about.

kind of the same with God. lots of us comment so dogmatically about Him, like the council did about Pluto, when really we know very little. i wonder what He thinks. i wonder if our ramblings make Him chuckle. i wonder if He gets excited about what He might teach us next.

me - still listening. excited to learn…and trying to figure out how i’m going to break the news about Pluto to my son when i take down the glow-in-the-dark version of the tiny planet in his room on his ceiling.

any advice is welcomed.

no two meatloafs are alike. every single person will comment about their taste differently and your mom’s recipe is really only good to you and your Uncle Henry who visited every other Christmas and every 4th Thanksgiving would always say, “Wow, this is the best i’ve ever had.”

milestones are kind of like that.

people consider very many different things milestones. i guess a milestone would be something that makes you, if even only for a moment, step back in awe amazed that you were able to be there and wondering if you’ll ever get to do something like that again.

the first time (and only time) i dunked a basketball would fit that category. the first time i “really” kissed a girl would fit that category (in Cypress Park in New Orleans when i was 12 - by the way, she was 15). when i spoke/taught for the first time to everyone at a worship gathering. when i was handed my high school diploma. when i realized who i was going to marry. when i was handed my college diploma. when i married the girl whom i had realized earlier that i would marry. my honeymoon to Glacier National Park in Montana. my first official game as a high school basketball coach. my honeymoon. when i had a song published. did i mention my honeymoon? the birth of my son. picking up everything and moving to study for my master’s. celebrating 5 years of marriage at St. Louis French restaurant in the French Quarter. when i was handed my master’s diploma. the birth of my daughter. the opening of a new cafe. finding out my 3rd child is on the way.
add one more to the list, and a BIG ONE. my son, who will turn 5 September 20th, starting his first official day of any type of school ever. he did that Thursday, August 17th, 2006. it was amazing. i can’t even express the emotions and thoughts i felt. here i am, in my mind only a few years from school myself, watching my son walk into his 1st classroom for the 1st time. and then, i got to be there when we picked him up from school. WOW!!! it was amazing. i can honestly say i have never been prouder of anyone or anything in my life than him on that day when he embarked on one of the most formative and difficult journies of his young life - school.

so many thoughts flooded my mind, imagining things for the next 12 to 20 years, remembering things from the last 4 (almost 5). this precious life that has been entrusted to my wife and me. surrendering him. letting go. enjoying the journey of his growth…and mine.

i realize that this may not be all that interesting to you. caleb is not your first-born. you did not get to see him walk into the classroom. i got that. that’s okay. could you just at least smile in wonder with me, though. it would mean a lot.

if not, fine. get your own milestone. whatever you do, enjoy today a little. each one is kind of a milestone depening on how you look at it. and have some good meatloaf while you’re at it. life’s such a gift, even meatloaf.

i have heard people who say they are religious say that they had this hole in their heart that God filled. that’s interesting. i am not trying to disrespect their experience or invalidate their claim, i am just wondering something. i thought i would wonder out loud (in type of course).

what if God did not make us with a void? what if He actually made us with a cord - an inner wiring that must be plugged into God, must be connected spiritually to my maker? what if that’s what He did, and we actually malfunction if we aren’t plugged in. we actually miss out on life and living the way we were created to live apart from connecting with our creator?

i mean, really - what do most of us spend life doing? going around trying to find out where we fit, where we plug in, where we get charged, where we get our value. when Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden, maybe humanity got banished from connection with our maker and has spent ions immersed in selfishness evidenced by plugging into things that indulge our egos and give us self-worth. Jesus had to come to restore the connection - to the way we were made to live - and give us our purpose and worth and meaning back. He never intended people to plug into a religion, but to plug into Him - their maker. that’s when we can really live, like we’re supposed to.

if you think of it this way, it makes the whole “sin” thing take on a new perspective. sin’s fun and all, but to choose self-absorption means our wiring is malfunctioning. we aren’t living like we were made to live at that point. that’s why that kind of stuff is no good. i mean, seriously, who keeps stuff that is just broken? i am really thankful Jesus does. i am really thankful he restores.

i have a question for any takers - what have you spent some of your life plugging into? just curious.

a single mom with 2 kids. she promised to be packed up when we got there to help her move. but she wasn’t.

my immediate thought - “dang it.” all i could think about the mtg i might miss for lunch. there was no one else to help her. no family to show up. her landlord came. cool guy. he works at the california grill on top of the contemporary resort. besides him and my 3 friends, she would have been helpless. and all i could think was “dang it” and about my appointment later that day.

we got her packed up in bags and boxes and loaded the truck. it took about 2 hours. it would have been shorter, i thought, if she had packed like she said she would. regardless, we were ready to make the drive across town to her newly rented condo. they were going to let her keep all of their animals (2 dogs, a rabbit, a hamster, and a bird). that made the children happy.

on the drive over, i had a thought. better said - i quit thinking only of myself. after a deep breath, a deep sense of gratitude came over me. not because i was doing anything special, but because my morning was all about giving away something that can’t be measured in boxes moved and furniture strategically placed in a uhaul like a game of tetris. LOVE. it’s bigger than me. it’s bigger than my schedule and appointments and disappoinments of the place not being ready to load up. and she heard it and saw it, and it made her and her children smile. she begged us to come over again soon so she can buy us pizza. i am sure we will oblige.

i was reminded of the most fundamental principle of living again last week the day we moved nancy. we become less than human when we act and think selfishly. i am inhumane more than i want to be. what we were created to be was selfless and loving. it’s the essential of abundant living. thinking of others before we think of ourselves.

i made my appointment by the way. he did not mind that i was late.

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Religion. Central element of society for most of human history. Worship one God. Worship many gods. There is no God. Do this. Don’t do that. Do this more. Do this less. Do this every day, three times a day. Sounds more like a prescription. But is it a prescription for really living?

Are humans really wired to be religious? You’d think so. I mean, look at all the religions in the world. Islam. Hinduism. Christianity. Mormonism. Judaism. Those are just a few. And inside of most of those “isms� are more divisions of that sort of belief than can be counted. Atheism is even a religion – it is a belief system that there is no God – a religion to deal with the hypothesis that what we see that exists is all there is. Pretty interesting. Let’s be real – if there is not a religion for it and someone thinks it viable, then a belief system that attempts to make sense of life and culture and relationships and choices and evil and good and all that stuff can be invented. And I think that’s the point – humans weren’t meant to be religious – it’s just something else we have invented to deal with our existence and our discontent herein. Something that has been created by us to explain all the stuff we learn about us and experience in this very up and down ride we call life.

So why are there so many religions? Is it because there are so many people with so many different circumstances and issues and desires and passions and perspectives on life? When we aren’t satisfied with one belief system, we invent another. Is it because we want to feel important and valuable, so we create systems that explain our worth and provide regimented actions to prove it? Is it because we are earnestly trying to figure out this life thing, and the best we can do is look around and figure there’s a God somewhere and try to practice maybe getting to meet him when the ride is over?

Coming up with the answer to that has led to a lot of religions. It’s a great gig. It’s made a lot of people happy, a lot of folks confused, and a few folks rich. Humans are trying their best to come up with their own guess about the meaning of life and the relationship between all of existence. It’s a weary, never-ending journey. More trails will be blazed in years to come. More confusion. More attempts to figure this out.

Here’s a stab at it – what if we weren’t meant to be religious? What if systems and rituals could never explain the supernatural reality that somehow weaves its way throughout what we perceive to be real and cries out from the depths of our hearts? What if it is more? What if we weren’t meant to be religious? What we were meant to be spiritual?

Semantics, you say. No…I don’t think so. Let’s take a look at how the 2 words are defined by humanity and you tell me if there is a difference. We have to take the word “religion� instead of “religious� because Webster has this really interesting way of defining words with the word itself. So religion actually has a definition that does not say something like “having to do with religion.�

Here are the definitions:

re·li·gion    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (r-ljn)

n.

1. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.
2. A personal or institutionalized system grounded in such belief and worship.

spir·i·tu·al    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (spr-ch-l)
adj.

1. Of, relating to, consisting of, or having the nature of spirit; not tangible or material. See Synonyms at immaterial.
2. Of, concerned with, or affecting the soul.
3. Of, from, or relating to God; deific.
4. Of or belonging to a church or religion; sacred.
5. Relating to or having the nature of spirits or a spirit; supernatural.

Look at the different words in the two definitions. In the former, the words are connected with systems and behavior and man’s teachings. In the latter, the words describe something relational, “not tangible,� “affecting the soul� and core of who we are, connecting to the supernatural. Which one is the cry of your heart? Do you long inside for a new system of beliefs? Do you long inside for something that only speaks to behavior? Do you long inside for something that requires the teachings and affirmations of a religiously educated individual? Do you long inside for segmented, prescriptive rituals that we partake of and then get back to the daily where life really happens?

OR, do you think that “systems� might possibly be inadequate to really describe the spiritual reality that you just know exists? Do you sense that behavior modification might possibly be an inept attempt to really change the human heart, to change us from the inside out? Do you realize that even the gurus of today and yesterday might not be able to speak to the reality of the supernatural that we were created to connect with. Don’t you know that life is wholistic – segmented, ritualistic living just does not translate into the need that exists deep within to connect my spiritual core and spiritual wirings with daily living?

The problem is that even the so-called experts have emphasized systematic beliefs and segmented, religious living as the “right� way. We have spent so much of our time in human history intellectually debating and attempting to empirically prove spiritual existence based on the material existence we exist in. The problem is the word that I overused in the last sentence. We can’t prove something and really understand something in terms of our existence that actually exists both in and beyond our existence. Reality is that the spiritual exists in a more real way than we know our own material existence. You know this. It’s written on your heart. You feel it in the core of who you are. You see it when there’s a coincidence that you know was more than coincidence. You hear it when you battle trying to distinguish with those voices that cause speak into the gut-wrenching choices of life. It’s there. Some people call it mystical. The bottom line is this – the supernatural is real and we were made to interact with it and live spiritually.

Are you? Don’t you want to really live? You can. You were meant to be spiritual, to interact with the spiritual realm. Humans weren’t made to be religious. They were wired to be spiritual.